By Arlene Pellicane, Crosswalk.com
For many husbands, wives can be downright confusing. One night, a husband looks at his wife with puppy dog eyes and suggests romance. She replies in frustration, “Not tonight. Is sex all you men think about?” A few nights later in that very same bed, she might say, “You just watch TV and go to bed. Don’t you find me attractive anymore?”
Another husband hears his wife complaining about her need to exercise. He buys her a gym membership. And that’s when the fight begins!
There are countless times in marriage when a husband and wife get their wires crossed. No wonder men are confused about how to make their wife happy! Efforts to make your wife happy may seem to backfire more often than not. Although the mystery between men and women is sure to continue, here are ten proven activities to make your wife happy:
Make talk time a daily habit. Don’t allow yourself to become so busy that you can’t spend 15 minutes a day talking with your wife. By the way, the last 15 minutes of your day when you’re utterly exhausted don’t count. If possible, use dinnertime as a place for conversation. If dinner doesn’t work, maybe it’s a five minute phone call at lunch and 10 minutes sitting on the sofa in the evening.
Act interested in what your wife has to say. Notice I wrote “act.” I know the things we wives talk about can be boring, long-winded, dramatic or illogical (or all of the above). But if you simply act as if you care about what we’re saying, it means the world to us. Just picture yourself in a board room listening to a boring presentation by your boss. You would still act interested out of respect for your boss. Act interested in your wife’s comments, not always because the conversation is riveting, but because you love your wife.
Hug, cuddle, and kiss throughout the day. Remember the affectionate way you would hold her hand, put your arms around her waist, and kiss her softly while you were engaged? Do that again and again. Remind yourself to romance and court her physically with a steady flow of affection. But remember, the goal of all your hugging and cuddling isn’t to have sex that night. It’s simply to be physically close (which will naturally lead to more sex throughout the week).
Write her a love note. It doesn’t have to be pure poetry to make her heart flutter. Write down the things you appreciate about her. Why are you glad you married her? Did she do something last week that you really liked? How is she doing a good job as a mother?
Take her on a coffee date. Let her know you want to hear all the details of her day over a nice, hot cup of coffee. If you have younger children, arrange for someone to watch the kids for an hour or two. On the date, hold her hand, open the door for her, and brag about her to the barista.
Tell her she looks beautiful. What’s a common question that little girls ask? Do I look beautiful daddy? It’s a question that grown women still wonder about. Women tend to be hard on themselves regarding their looks. We are afraid we don’t measure up in your sight. But if you look into your wife’s eyes and tell her she is beautiful, you will make her day!
Help with the household duties. If you want to make your wife mad, say something like “Oh, I see you’re doing your annual vacuuming” (I know this from personal experience). But if you pick up around the house, help in the kitchen, and yes even vacuum without being asked, your wife will be incredibly thankful.
Notice what she worries about and reassure her. Your wife is a security seeker. Maybe she’s worried about an upcoming move, a child’s development, or financial pressures. Strengthen yourself first in the Lord so you can then encourage your wife. Hold her and reassure her often that everything is going to be okay.
Bring her an unexpected gift. Most women love gifts and it doesn’t really matter whether they come in small or big packages. Surprise her with a just-because bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates. Maybe she’s compiling a wish list online of things she wants. Take a peek and surprise her with one item from her list.
Open up to her about yourself. The strong, silent type works in the movies, but not in real life. Your wife wants to hear about your life. She wants to know what is making you happy and what is stressing you out. This is how she connects with you. She actually cares about what you had for lunch and the strange thing you saw on the way home. Don’t reply to your wife’s questions with one word answers. Elaborate.
Which of these activities do you think your wife would enjoy? If you’re not sure, you can always ask her. She’ll love that you were reading an article about how to make her happy!
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband and 31 Days to a Younger You. She has been a guest on Family Life Today, The 700 Club, Turning Point with David Jeremiah, and The Hour of Power. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children. Visit Arlene’s website at www.TheHappyHusband.com.
Publication date: December 10, 2012